TV presenter Davina McCall has opened up about the emotional aftermath of her drug addiction recovery, admitting she “hated” herself when she first got clean at age 25.
The 57-year-old star, known for hosting shows like Big Brother and The Million Pound Drop, has long been vocal about her past struggles with substance abuse. But in a new interview with Best magazine, she reveals the deep self-loathing that followed her early days of sobriety.
“I hated myself when I got clean. I had let myself and other people down. I had been infected with this dark shadow.”
From Heroin to Healing
Davina began smoking cannabis at age 12 and took cocaine at 14 and 15, but later became addicted to heroin, a drug she once confessed she loved “more than my family, more than myself.”
After a terrifying overdose, she found herself hospitalized and at a crossroads.
“It was a case of get clean or die,” she previously revealed.
With the help of Narcotics Anonymous and support from a sponsor, Davina started her path to sobriety at 25. But the emotional toll lingered.
“My sponsor gave me a mirror and told me to look at it every morning and say, ‘I love you.’
I said, ‘I like you,’ but I couldn’t stop crying because it wasn’t true. It took me six months before I could say, ‘I love you.’”
A New Kind of High
These days, Davina’s “drug of choice” is something much healthier: time with loved ones.
“My happy place is now with people I love… probably in a karaoke bar or Ibiza… with music and dancing.”
She shares three children — Holly (23), Tilly (21), and Chester (18) — with ex-husband Matthew Robertson, and has been in a relationship with celebrity hairdresser Michael Douglas, 50, since 2019.
Despite her high-energy public persona, Davina said she’s finally reached a point where she doesn’t care about outside judgment.
“People used to say I was annoyingly enthusiastic. It’s like Marmite — some love it, some hate it. That’s okay. People can turn me off.”
Loving Herself ‘Warts and All’
Davina says her recovery wasn’t just about quitting drugs — it was about learning to accept herself, flaws and all.
“I realised you can love yourself, warts and all. I didn’t have to be perfect.”
Her story continues to inspire thousands facing similar struggles, and she remains one of Britain’s most open and beloved public figures — not in spite of her past, but because of her willingness to share it.
